Top 10 Reasons I’m Not Surprised I Don’t Have a Girlfriend.

-
I must have picked the right font, because it looks like Gop 10!

Ok, it's no surprise that I'm procrastinating writing my newest project, though I did write a short story for the Toronto Star Short Story contest, which means I still haven't given up my dream of becoming a successful author. Lucky for me, being a successful author means: completing a project I start.
Also, it should't come as a surprise that I'm single, so I've compiled a Top 10 list of the reasons for this.


Top 10 Reasons I’m Not Surprised I Don’t Have a Girlfriend.

#10 - I trim my toenails with my teeth.
#9 - When I pulled my laundry out of the dryer, I didn’t find any underwear, that’s when I realized I was still wearing the pair I washed last week.
#8 - I’m broke and broken.
#7 - I run like a girl and sit down to pee.
#6 - I cut my own hair.
#5 - I cry when I watch ‘The Notebook’.
#4 - I’ll eat anything that’s free.
#3 - I’ll drink anything that’s free.
#2 - The minute I realize I’m in a relationship, all I want is out.
And the #1 reason I’m not surprised I don’t have a girlfriend:
My big Polish nose. 

Note: May not be factual.
Other Note: Real list would be much, much longer.

Cheers,
Stud!o M!ke, Sweet Tito aka Captain Hairballs, The Hellhound and his Hellcat.
February 2019



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ladybird Animal Sanctuary

-
Image
A couple weeks ago, we had in our living room, three big hearted individuals, Melissa McClelland , Janine Stoll and Lisa Winn , from Ladybird Animal Sanctuary . The following is the transcription of the interview. You can find the video version up above. How did it all start? “I’m an animal lover, and a full-time touring musician," said McClellan. "And I think I just wanted part of my life to focus on my love for animals, because so much of my life is wrapped up being on the road. So I brought it up with these girls, and we all thought it was a great idea, so we’ve been talking about it for a few years now.” “I had already been doing it small scale," said Winn, "because I’ve worked at animal shelters, and had already been rescuing and fostering for a number of years.” “I felt like the three of us come from different backgrounds, and we work so nicely together," said McClelland. "Our personalities, we just click as friend. And Lisa has the background w...
Read more

The Compassion Experiment (Day 4)

-
Image
The Compassion Experiment: is a blog about converting to a more compassionate lifestyle. When it comes to promoting the compassionate lifestyle, there are two schools of thought, one being to shame people into living more compassionately, the other is to give people options, and help guide them into a more humane way of life. We don't believe that showing people gruesome pictures of animals being slaughtered is the right way to go about it. That's not to say that we don't support the groups who do this, many of these groups are the people working the hardest for animals, animal safety and promoting compassionate living. We just have our own way of doing things. As promised, we tried a great compassion recipe last night, and it turned out to be quite tasty. We modified the recipe and made it our own. We were worried that it would be flat, and hard and tasteless. We were way off, and highly recommend it. Here it is: Banana Blueberry Compassion Bread You will need: 3 ripe ba...
Read more

The Compassion Experiment Day 178

-
Image
This year while at the Vegetarian Food Festival, we saw a pamphlet for a Pig Sanctuary, called Ruby Ranch . We grabbed it, of course, and vowed that we would have to check the place out. Of course with both of us working full-time now, and volunteering, it was hard to find time for it, but this past Tuesday, we were finally able to make it down. And it was unbelievable! We pull up to the house, and the front door opens. Out comes two dogs, and a giant pot belly pig who waddles his way down the front stairs. In the front yard there is a pen with three super cute pot belly pigs, who greeted us and were quite friendly. Seeing pigs on TV is one thing, to have a chance to get up and personal with them, is a whole other thing. These are cute, intelligent creatures, who love people, and to cuddle, and in some cases, even like to sleep in the bed. Ruby Ranch is run by an amazingly compassionate couple, Sherry and Bob, who started with one pig, Ruby, and now they have 19 pigs, two dogs, and thr...
Read more