Top 10 Reasons I’m Not Surprised I Don’t Have a Girlfriend.

I must have picked the right font, because it looks like Gop 10!

Ok, it's no surprise that I'm procrastinating writing my newest project, though I did write a short story for the Toronto Star Short Story contest, which means I still haven't given up my dream of becoming a successful author. Lucky for me, being a successful author means: completing a project I start.
Also, it should't come as a surprise that I'm single, so I've compiled a Top 10 list of the reasons for this.


Top 10 Reasons I’m Not Surprised I Don’t Have a Girlfriend.

#10 - I trim my toenails with my teeth.
#9 - When I pulled my laundry out of the dryer, I didn’t find any underwear, that’s when I realized I was still wearing the pair I washed last week.
#8 - I’m broke and broken.
#7 - I run like a girl and sit down to pee.
#6 - I cut my own hair.
#5 - I cry when I watch ‘The Notebook’.
#4 - I’ll eat anything that’s free.
#3 - I’ll drink anything that’s free.
#2 - The minute I realize I’m in a relationship, all I want is out.
And the #1 reason I’m not surprised I don’t have a girlfriend:
My big Polish nose. 

Note: May not be factual.
Other Note: Real list would be much, much longer.

Cheers,
Stud!o M!ke, Sweet Tito aka Captain Hairballs, The Hellhound and his Hellcat.
February 2019



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